how to talk to anyone by leil lowndes

How to Talk to Anyone-Book “27 best tricks”


27 best tricks described in “How to Talk to Anyone: 62 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships”


book review


This post is the summary of “How to Talk to Anyone: 62 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships “ by “Leil Lowndes”.I have renamed some of the tricks in my own words while used some of the book’s.


The post represents only the book; I may or may not agree to what the book states.




1- Sticky eyes

While having a conversation with someone you should, remember that the focus of your sight must be that person. This will make you sound as a more reliable person to others. It doesn’t mean you should stare hard to someone while talking to him but too much looking away may create impression of incredibility.



2- Confident smiley face

People want to talk to big winners and to behave like one is a good way to make people talk to you. Having a champion’s posture and a light confident smile on your face will show you as a big winner. “I think about the smile author talked about is like that of Morgan Freeman’s smile (elegant kind of)”.



3- Super sticky eyes

When you have conversation with in a group of two or more than two people, it’s better to give most of your attention to the person you want to influence or impress. No matter who is talking, shifting your sight form the person who is talking and to the person who you want to make like you is a great technique.



4- Baby smile

If you are in a party or a gather, where most of the people are your senior or highly accomplished in a specific way, may cause you feel nerves. To have an attitude like, “you are special” while encountering someone is a great way of striking a conversation with someone. While being introduced to someone try to smile like you would, if a toddler would come to you and hold on to your clothes. Image how would you respond to a toddler, if one comes to you with an innocent look on his face, to grab your attention.



5- Smile Slow

Next time you meet a friend or someone who you know well, smile after two or three seconds after you see him or her. This will make your smile appear more genuine. When you see your friend, wait and after two or three seconds give a big smile, but do it a bit slow. Don’t just give a big smile instantly at the moment you saw him. The smile should be small at first and should get more intense with time.



6- Notice movement

While talking to someone or when the conversation is about to start you should notice the face expressions and the body language of the person, which will help you to know the other’s person personality and also assists you to be at the same wavelength, at which the person is, you are talking to.



7- Parroting

How to talk to one you have no idea what to say.The next time you find yourself in a situation where you can’t think of anything to speak about or what to say to the person you are talking, then just do parroting. You just have to speak the last word of the ending sentence of the person, whom you are talking to and the conversation will flow. If someone says “I am going for vacations”. You just need to say “Vacations”. The person will say “Yes, I am planning to go to Paris”. You say, “Paris”. The person will say something like, “Yes, it is such a classy place”. And the conversation will go on and on and on.



8- Wear a “what is that?”

Wearing an accessory or something that looks different and rise the curiosity of the people, is a great conversation starters. In this way you can also ask someone you want to talk, about any unusual thing the person is wearing. If not, the next technique will help you.



9- Who is he or she?

If you are at a gathering or at a party. Where you find someone interesting, then don’t wait of being introduced by the host. Just ask the host who is that person? And if your host is a reasonable person he will surely introduce you to that person.



10- Never the naked introduction

While introducing two people, introduce them with some information about each other. So that other person has something to hang on. Suppose while introducing, tell the other person’s profession, job, hobby or anything he or she loves to. This will provide the two with something they can talk about.



11- Never the naked city

In the same way while telling someone about your city; just don’t only say the name of the city.  Also provide some specialty or some of its importance that could appeal the other person. For example if you are from Macedonia, tell the other person while introducing yourself that “I am from the city of ancient War loads”.



12- Never the Naked thank you

If you have to thank someone just don’t do it without any gift or so. Thanking with a gift will insure that the person will provide you with the favor when next time. This improves the quality of your relationship with someone.


13- Give the bad news and people will still like you

When you have to crack a bad news to a person, do it with empathy not just with sympathy and the person having the bad news would not take anything personally.



14- Know the terms

How to talk to people very different then you?Suppose, If you are at a party held by a “Quantum Physics Society”, you may have a very hard time communicating with the majority. If you don’t know some specific terminologies of their discipline. Always having such terminologies as your bag-pack, will help you survive in such kind of parties. You may ask open ended questions. when they will know that you are nothing to do with their discipline, they will get really impressed. By thinking what a knowledgeable person you are.



15- Move like other

The way people move and do specific thing has a tremendous influence on them, if they see others doing the same. Don’t worry, it’s not the study of human body language, you can do it by holding the cup, like other person is holding. This mirroring technique may sound simple yet very effective.



16- Copy other’s words

While talking with a person you can communicate with him or her better, if you use the specific vocabulary they use. Every person uses certain words to describe specific situation or phenomena. Detect that words of their and use them. It will create a bond between you and that person when he or she will see that word coming out of your mouth.



17- Talk like others

How to talk to anyone? Just talk like others. It seems similar to the previous technique but it is not. People of different backgrounds have their certain way to talk; by copying them effectively you can communicate at the best of your level. This also includes the understanding of the expressions and also projecting the right expressions. But don’t overdo it. If you don’t have much understanding of person’s expression pattern and mood.



18- Don’t just say, “Hmm”

When someone is talking with you and you don’t have idea that what to say, even then never with a “Hmmm”. At least reply with a word or two. May be a line can help you. Suppose if a person telling you about its past accomplishments, don’t just reply with “Hmmm”. Answer with something like “That’s amazing, its sounds like you are very determined and hardworking person”. It gives the other person hint that you are interested in talking to him or her. But you have to listen carefully what the other person is speaking about.



19- Talk about other’s interest

Whenever you are telling someone about something or asking about something, add the element that there is something for the other person. Use the word “You”, when addressing with someone. Suppose if you ask your friend to go watch a movie with you, he may think either the movie is his according to his taste or not. Rather than saying, “Ellan, I have seen a trailer of an action movie you will love to watch. Do you want to go with me to watch the movie?” The second sentence will appeal more to your friend.



20- Admire carefully

When admiring someone doesn’t do it directly or you will appear manipulative. Following are few do & don’t of admiring someone are:

⦁ Don’t praise someone directly, but admire him to one of his friend and he will know it for sure.

⦁ If you want to praise women for her youthfulness, talk about her an event of distant past and say, “It happened a long time ago, I think you were too young to remember it.” It is a technique of directly admiration.

⦁ Your admiration should be specific and personal. E.g teeth, eyes, intellect etc.

⦁ Don’t praise the same person until it has been 6 months since you have gave him his previous compliment.

⦁ Compliment instantly if someone has just done a good job. It is like to say, “Incredible” if a man has just finished a job that was not easy and you were standing next to him.



21-Talk right on phone (How to talk on phone)

According to a survey people lose 30% of their energy when they talk on phone. It is necessary to observe yourself that isn’t you are talking in a monotone, or in a grumpy voice. If yes, then you have to put some expressions in to your voice. The second most important thing to consider is that you shower the person with his or her name while talking on phone. It may sound weird if you repeatedly say one’s name of the person you are talking to face to face, but on phone it sounds nice.



22- Take care on phone

The person whom you call, you should have a “oh! It’s you” attitude for him. Make him feel that you were expecting him, by being pleasant on the phone. If you hear something that makes you feel he is busy, allow him that he can end the conversation by asking him, that “if he is busy you will call later”.



23- Respond right for compliments

Most men don’t respond correctly when they are admired by another person, although women are good in it. Rather being defensive and saying like “oh! It’s not that good”, smile confidently and say “thank you” at least.



24- Compensate for your mistakes

If you were being at a friend’s or associate’s office and by mistake break a cheap vase on his table. Don’t just full fill for your mistakes by saying “sorry”, It’s better to buy new vase for him, an expensive one even better. Whenever he will look at the vase, it will make him remember about you and it is far better than a pen with your name on it.



25- Leave parties for fun

When at parties you may encounter people you have professional relations and used to see them at your workplace. But never talk about business or talks that may get you with someone in a conflicting and uncomfortable discussion. Because it will do no good to you, try to leave parties for fun.



26- Don’t hunt in accident

Suppose you are in a super store and you find a venture capitalist (investor) you were trying to meet from weeks. Now it’s better to keep the coincidental meeting light and don’t talk anything about business. Because if you just start talking about your idea he should invest, he would think himself of being trapped by you. Neither he will listen to your talk carefully nor later sponsor your idea, even if there were some chances. Because you are forcing a conversation on him, he is not interested. Spare him and your chances will increase.



27- Be over detective

Most of the time, people tell you about them in an answer to your questions. You just need to read between the lines. And then try to use the information to make conversation go on. For instance if you say to a stranger “Today’s weather is not good, it’s raining like cats and dogs.” And the stranger say “Yep, but plants need it”. Now it shows he possess interest in plants. The next thing you need to say should be about plants. It can be as simple as, “you like plants?”

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